Homegrown - Chapter 4

Ella clenched her fist as she sat at the dining table. When she had come to talk with Davis, she hadn’t expected him to call their parents over for dinner as well. It wasn’t like she would have run away or told them not to, but she had been hoping to talk with him first and then work out how to have another go at a discussion with their mom.

“It’s good to have you home, sweetie, but don’t take too much time off. That will make people think you aren’t happy to be at your job.”

Ella had to grit her teeth to keep the smile on her face. “I’ve been working seventy-hour weeks for months, Mom. I think they’ll be okay without me for a week.” She looked down and pushed the food around on her plate, her appetite nearly gone thanks to her nerves. Here she was, thirty-three years old and still nervous about talking to her mother. It was like Ella wasn’t even an adult with her own life and wants. Why was it so hard for her to just spit out how she felt? “Besides, it would have been a slow week anyway. Most of the office is out for a bonding trip for the week to celebrate…” Her voice trailed off.

“I still can’t believe they didn’t make you partner,” Christine said. Ella looked over and smiled at her sister-in-law in thanks for backing her up. She didn’t doubt that Christine had experience dealing with some of the same good-ol’-boy issues in medical school. That’s where she and Davis had met. The first time Davis brought her home, Ella immediately knew she was the one. Davis was a bit of a mama’s boy growing up, but Christine hadn’t put up with any of that. The first time she handed Davis his ass, Ella had nearly proposed. Now, half the time if she needed advice, she went to Christine instead of her brother.

“Yeah,” she said swallowing hard against the lump in her throat. “I thought for sure I would make partner, especially after the last hiccup I fixed. But I guess I wasn’t what they needed.”

“Wrong,” Davis said as he sat down. He handed Ella a wineglass. “You were probably exactly what they needed, but not what they wanted.”

Ella frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, think about it,” Davis started as he lifted his glass and slowly swirled around the bloodred liquid. “You were fixing their messes, and many of the interns and associates would come to you for advice, right? You are the type of partner they need, but you make the others look bad by comparison. They’re mediocre, you’re not, and they find ways to try to diminish you for it.”

That was certainly one way to look at things. Ella knew sometimes her overly cheerful countenance rubbed people the wrong way. It wasn’t that she was happy all the time. Right now, she couldn’t even say she was borderline content. But she didn’t want to make the people around her worry—namely Sam.

“Oh, come now,” their mother spoke up. “I think you just need to put your head down and stay the course. You’re doing amazing things there, and if you keep pushing—”

“She’ll push herself into a breakdown,” Davis cut in, surprising Ella. He didn’t often push back against their mom. “Sometimes staying the course is the wrong choice, especially if you’re on a sinking ship. Have you talked to Sam about it? What did she think?”

Their mother put her fork down noisily. “Now why would Sam know what she should do? She’s not a lawyer.”

“But she is a friend who cares,” Davis explained. “Hell, she probably cares more than most, given—” He cut himself off and shook his head.

Ella frowned in confusion. What was he about to say about Sam? “Given what?” she asked. He looked at her a moment before sighing and shaking his head. Christine glanced between them but said nothing.

Their father, who had been sitting quietly eating his food, spoke up suddenly. “I think you need to decide what you really want out of your life.”

Ella widened her eyes in surprise. Their dad didn’t often speak up during conversations like this. He was a quiet man, more prone to giving silent approval or disapproval and letting their mom carry on conversations. When he spoke, most of them tended to listen.

“But—” Mom started in protest. He calmly placed a hand on hers.

“Honey, I think it’s time we took a step back from this and let her figure it out.” His words were quiet but were said with a calm assurance that made something in Ella unclench. She had been waiting to hear what he thought. She knew what her mom would say, but her dad had always been the wild card when it came to these things. “She’s a grown woman now. Has been for years.”

Heat prickled behind Ella’s eyelids, but she blinked rapidly. “Thanks, Pop.”

He smiled, dark skin rippling as he nodded sharply. “So, what have you been thinking, and don’t say ‘nothin’,’ because I know that mind of yours is always going a hundred miles a minute.”

He wasn’t wrong. Ella had been considering her options for weeks if not months, namely… “I’m thinking of changing my specialty to estate planning. Better hours and a little less—”

“Estate planning?” Mom jumped in. “Isn’t that something you only plan for with the elderly? There’s nothing special about that. There’s no prestige. Don’t you want to be someone and leave a lasting legacy? If I were in your shoes, I would—”

“But you’re not, Mom,” Ella said as her frustration bubbled over, prompting her words to burst forth. She had been listening to some form of this for years, and enough was enough. “I’ve been burning myself out trying to live up to this idea you have for my future, and all I’ve been left with is exhaustion. I’m tired, Mom.”

“You’re too young to be tired,” her mom said, clearly not listening to her words. Ella could feel her smile cracking until it shattered, leaving her frozen with the knowledge that she couldn’t continue the way she had been.

Ella stood, feeling a bit unsteady but resolute. “I love law, and I don’t plan to change fields, but I will be making some changes, whether you approve of them or not.” She gave Davis a watery smile. “Thank you for dinner.”

Davis smiled back and nodded. “Proud of you, sis.” His words warmed her chest and gave her the boost to push her chair back and step away from the table.

“Where are you going?”

She paused and glanced at her mom. “I’ll be back tomorrow,” she said before walking to her dad and dropping a kiss on the top of his head. When she got to her mom, she squeezed her shoulder and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “I love you guys, but I need some time.”

Before they could protest, Ella walked out of the dining room and toward the front door. She loved them all dearly, but right now, there was only one person she wanted to see.