Homegrown - Chapter 3

Sam stared at the screen in front of her. She’d been looking at the same spreadsheet for the past hour, and she wasn’t any closer to finishing filling it out than when she first opened it. She and Ella had stayed up chatting and catching up on the couch until both of them started dozing off. Sam had managed to move them both, pouring Ella into the spare bedroom a little after midnight. The sleepy way she had nuzzled into the pillow nearly had Sam’s heart bursting from being so damn full. They hadn’t physically been together in almost two years, thanks to both of their busy schedules. Even though they texted back and forth, it was different from having Ella here with her. When morning came, Ella had already been gone with a note letting Sam know she went by her parents’ house for breakfast with a smiley face.

If Sam had the note in her pocket, that was no one’s business but her own. But sadly, it wasn’t helping her fill out this sheet. Her mind was still filled with the knowledge that Ella was back, even if it was only for a week.

“I know that look.”

Sam sighed before peering over the screen at her twin. “Sometimes I think I should have absorbed you in utero.”

Peter’s laughter was loud and not even a little offended. He crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame. “You missed your chance, and now you have to deal with consequences of the awesomeness that is me, dear sister.” He clapped his hands together. “Now. Please tell me you finally put us all out of our misery and told Ella how you feel?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Peter gave her a look. “Oh, please. You haven’t been able to lie to me since elementary school. Joseph and Christopher might not push, but you know I will. I still don’t understand why you never asked her to just stay here and date you.”

“Because it wasn’t what she wanted.” Her voice was hard with emotion as she tried to pull it all back. “I didn’t want her to feel like she had to choose between her future and me. She had so much going for her, and I wasn’t going to be the thing that held her back.”

He sighed before shaking his head. “Did you ever stop to think that it didn’t have to be an either-or?”

“My life is here, Peter,” Sam countered with finality as she dragged her eyes back to the computer screen. The cells still didn’t make sense, but he didn’t need to know that. All she needed was for him to go the hell away and let her run her thoughts into the ground on her own. She didn’t need his help with that. “Don’t you have some crops to take care of or something? I’m still waiting on those yield reports you said you’d upload yesterday.”

He waved off her words before pointing a finger at her. “Don’t try to change the subject. Besides, I have the reports on my tablet just waiting for me to click Send.”

“So, click it already,” she growled out.

“You’re not the boss of me.”

“Children. Do not make me have to put you in separate corners.” Sam jerked straight up in her seat when Ella peeked around the door frame. “Thirty-three years old and you two still bicker like children. Now I know why the other two didn’t want to live with you.”

Peter smirked at Sam before sidling up to Ella and dropping an arm over her shoulders. “I don’t know why you put up with this one instead of hanging out with me.”

Ella grinned and gave him a once-over. “She’s prettier.” When he gasped and clutched his chest, she looked over and winked at Sam. “I don’t mean to interrupt your work, but I could use a good vent session if you’re not too busy.”

Sam stood up from her chair and shook her head. She was just relieved that Ella didn’t seem to have overheard the earlier conversation. “Not too busy at all. Waiting on Peter to send me his paperwork as it is.” She ignored his sputtering and walked over. “The ATVs are gassed up if you want to go for a ride.”

Ella’s smile was wide, but Sam could see the strain in it. “That sounds perfect. I’m ready to go when you are.”

Soon enough, they were blazing down the trail, dirt kicking up behind them. It was a familiar pastime from their childhood, but not one they had indulged in a while. Sam glanced at Ella as she navigated the dirt path. Her dark brown eyes were wide and filled with mirth as she held on to the top of the cab. Each bump had her whooping with laughter until Sam too was smiling wide. Maybe Peter was right. Maybe I just need to tell her how I feel. It’s not like they had never had a conversation about trying out a relationship. But the last time that had happened was high school, before they both went their separate ways for college, and the distance seemed too great and the risk of breaking their friendship too much to bear.

So, what was different about this time? Sam couldn’t put her finger on it. Not exactly. But it had been decades and the way she felt when she was with Ella had never been outmatched by any of her relationships. Clearly, that had to mean something.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Ella said as they came up to the end of the path. From here, it was an easy walk to the apple orchard at the edge of their property line. It was an area she and Ella had frequented when they wanted to get away from their families. “Is everything all right?”

Sam leaned back and put the ATV in Park before glancing back at Ella. “I should ask you the same thing.”

Ella bit her lip and looked away. The motion did not go unnoticed, though probably not for the reason Ella would have thought. Sam wanted to reach out and pull that bit of skin between her own lips and worry it with her teeth. Instead, she sat quietly clenching her fists around the steering wheel as she waited for Ella to speak. She knew her friend didn’t respond well to being pushed. If anything, it made her try harder to seem happy, like nothing could ever be wrong.

“So, I went home this morning. To my parents’ place,” Ella started. She turned to look out at the path. “Let’s just say the conversation didn’t go the greatest.”

Sam nodded. She knew Mrs. Richards had big plans for Ella. Hell, the whole town knew.

“I told her what happened, but she didn’t think it was enough for me to wash my hands of things.”

“Do you want to wash your hands of things?” Sam asked. Truthfully, she was a little surprised to hear that was even an option now. The last time they had talked about Ella’s job, she had mentioned not being totally happy about things, namely the number of hours she was working and the lack of socializing she was invited to in comparison with the other lawyers in the firm. But to know that things had been even worse than portrayed worried Sam. “I didn’t realize things had gotten so bad for you there.”

Ella smiled, but again, she could see the strain. Sam swallowed hard before making the decision to push.

“Have you thought of doing something different? Like…” She trailed off as Ella looked up at her, puppy dog eyes wide and almost beckoning for her to say something profound. Sam wasn’t sure if she had anything of the sort. How could she possibly say something that was perspective changing when she hadn’t gone anywhere or done anything beyond working at her family’s farm? She enjoyed her work. But Ella had gone to college away, had spent time overseas and made a life for herself that was so completely different from what they grew up in. Sam didn’t feel worthy enough to provide advice.

“Like what?” Ella asked, leaning closer. The sun fell across her eyes, lighting them up and making them glow. This close, Sam could see the flecks of darker brown that gave them even more depth. Her gaze shifted to the chicken pox scar under Ella’s right eye and the barely there divot on her left eyebrow from when they were kids and she got hit with a Frisbee. All these minor imperfections made Ella who she was, and yet even with that familiar history, something in Sam was downright terrified to take that next step.

“I don’t know,” she answered finally, leaning back against the seat. It was as if some string had been cut, leaving her feeling bereft. “Have you talked to Davis about it?” She figured if anyone understood about expectations, it would be Ella’s older brother. Maybe he could give her advice that would be worth something.

Sam looked at her a moment longer before sighing and looking away. She nodded. “I probably should, I guess.” She reached out, her hand seeming to hesitate for a moment before it landed gently on Sam’s thigh. “Thank you for letting me talk at you.”

It took a couple tries before Sam could make her mouth work correctly. The words were pushed out even as she tried not to lose it at the heat that bled from Ella’s palm through the fabric of her jeans. “Always. I’m always here for you.” There was more she wanted to say, but the moment that had once seemed so full of promise now seemed nearly impossible to overcome.

With a sigh, Sam gazed out across the path and wondered if maybe this was just not meant to be.