Wild Week with the Island Doc - Chapter 4

The next morning, after spending another night with Meg, Cam was making scrambled eggs in Meg’s kitchen when she appeared, fresh from the shower.

‘Good morning, gorgeous,’ he said, scooping his arm around her waist and pulling her in for a slow and thorough kiss that made her body melt into his arms.

After a casual dinner with her parents, Meg had invited him to stay at her place and Cam’s addiction for her had won over his caution. Meg was smart and funny and beautiful and he loved being in her company. Not to mention how well they clicked in the bedroom. Maybe he didn’t need to overthink it.

‘Picnics and breakfast?’ she said breathily when he released her. ‘It’s a good thing you’re heading back to Invercargill today. I could get used to this kind of treatment.’ She took the two slices of sourdough toast from the toaster and retrieved two plates from the cupboard.

Cam flicked her a smile and stirred the eggs, a long-forgotten sense of contentment washing over him. ‘Thanks for encouraging me to come for dinner last night. In fact, thanks for everything this week—the penguins, the company, the medical dramas. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you better, Meg.’ Somehow, this amazing woman had restored much of his faith. If ever he was to risk another relationship, it would be for a woman like Meg.

‘You’re welcome,’ she said, blinking up at him. ‘I told you we were more than a sleepy island.’

Cam plated the scrambled eggs and dragged in a deep breath, preparing to voice an idea that had been tugging at his mind for the past couple of days. ‘I was thinking I might stay another night and head back to Invercargill tomorrow. I’ve checked with your parents and my room at the lodge is available.’

‘Oh,’ Meg said, not quite meeting his eye. ‘That’s good. It’s quiz night at the bar tonight if you’re interested. There are usually some bird-related questions so you’ve a good chance of winning.’

‘I’ll keep that in mind.’ He slid the plates onto the breakfast bar and snagged her hand. ‘I know I’ll be seeing you again in two months on my next visit, but even if I had no reason to return to the island, I’d…like to see you again.’ He wasn’t making her any promises he couldn’t keep, but they had a good time together. The best time he’d had in years.

Meg smiled hesitantly. ‘You would? Are you sure it’s me and not the birds calling you back?’

She was deflecting, hiding behind humour. Part of him could understand why. He wasn’t sure where this was heading, but he’d awoken this morning certain that he didn’t want it to be over yet.

‘You don’t like the idea?’ he asked, his stomach pinching with disappointment and humiliation.

‘It’s not that…’ Meg stepped into his arms and gripped his waist. ‘I guess I’m just keeping things casual because you’re leaving. It’s not like I can follow you to the mainland, and you’ll be moving on soon, right? Leaving New Zealand for good? No sense getting too attached when we’ll be worlds apart in a few months. I’ve done that before, expected something that wasn’t reciprocated…’

Cam nodded, his heart sinking. ‘Of course not. And yeah, I did plan to leave New Zealand at some point…’

Cam didn’t want to be like her ex and let her down, nor did he want to put himself out there and face rejection again or put down roots to have them painfully ripped away. Maybe they were right to be cautious.

‘I guess I just wanted you to know that I’ve had a great time this week,’ he finished, deflated.

Meg nodded. ‘I’ve had the best week, Cam. And we’ll definitely see each other in a couple of months.’

For some reason, her promise fell flat, a consolation prize and left him wondering if he’d imagined their closeness this week. He’d also judged things wrong before with his fiancée and been hurt. That was why he’d spent so many years alone, never settling in one place, because keeping moving had felt like the only surefire way to protect his feelings.

***

Halfway through breakfast, while she and Cam pretended the horrible tension between them didn’t exist, Meg’s work phone rang. The number on the screen made her stomach drop. Islander Harold Stevens had locally advanced and inoperable lung cancer.

‘Meg, it’s Jan Stevens. Harold is very short of breath. Can you come?’

Meg winced at the panicked tone of Jan’s voice, abandoned her breakfast and stood. ‘Of course, Jan. I’ll be there soon. Dr McKenzie is still on the island so I’ll bring him along.’

Meg ended the call and reached for her car keys. ‘Harold Stevens, a local man with stage three lung cancer has acute shortness of breath.’

To her relief, Cam quickly donned his coat. ‘Let’s go. You can give me his history on the drive.’

Panic froze Meg’s veins as she navigated the short drive to the Stevenses’ home, outlining Harold’s pertinent medical history for Cam. Like Meg, Harold had been born on the island and following his diagnosis, was adamant he wanted to die there, surrounded by the place and people he loved. He’d often confided in Meg that he hated hospitals. Hated the very idea of being ‘sick’. But of course he was dying, and it broke Meg’s heart that there was nothing she could do.

In the Stevenses’ sunny living room, which had breathtaking views of the bay, Harold was seated, his arms braced on his knees as he fought for every breath.

‘Mr Stevens,’ Cam said, ‘I’m Dr McKenzie but you can call me Cam. Is it alright if I have a listen to your chest?’

Harold nodded, too breathless to speak behind the oxygen mask. While Meg gripped one of Harold’s hands and Jan the other, Cam carried out his examination. With his auscultation complete, he tapped his fingers over Harold’s back, percussing out the lung fields. He looked up, met Meg’s stare, and her heart sank a little more at the concern in his eyes.

‘I think you’ve got a bit a fluid built up outside the lung, Mr Stevens.’ Cam slipped on a reassuring expression and sat opposite the patient and his wife. ‘That’s what’s making it hard to breathe.’

Meg’s mind raced through the possibilities, knowing Harold wouldn’t want to go to hospital.

‘Can it be removed?’ Jan Stevens asked, her voice stoic but her stare full of fear.

Cam nodded. ‘Yes. It’s called a pleural effusion, most likely caused by the tumour. I’d like to arrange a chest X-ray and an ultrasound scan at the hospital, where a tube can be inserted into the chest to drain the fluid.’

Even before Cam had finished speaking, Harold was shaking his head, adamant.

Jan turned desperate eyes to Meg. ‘He’s had enough of hospitals.’

‘I know,’ Meg said. ‘It’s okay, Harold. Just let me talk to Dr McKenzie alone for a second.’

Reluctantly, and wearing a deepening frown, Cam followed her into the Stevenses’ kitchen.

***

‘He needs treatment, Meg,’ Cam said, wondering how they could be so suddenly out of sync. ‘A pleural effusion this large won’t resolve without drainage and he’s suffering unnecessarily.’

Meg rubbed at her temples. ‘I know, but couldn’t you aspirate it here? I brought a medical kit from the car. That would buy him some time, and maybe then we could persuade him…’

Cam shook his head, frustrated. ‘I could, but it’s better, safer, done under ultrasound guidance, at the hospital.’

‘He won’t go,’ she said. ‘I know him. He’s almost as stubborn as me.’

Cam shoved his fingers through his hair. ‘Couldn’t you use your relationship with him to encourage him to accept help? This isn’t immediately life-threatening, but it’s only going to get worse, and he’s exhausted from simply trying to draw breath.’ He understood she cared about the islanders. She’d probably known most of them her whole life. But now wasn’t the time for her stubborn streak.

‘I understand your point of view,’ Meg said, her voice breaking. ‘I feel so…torn. Couldn’t we make him as comfortable as possible for now?’

‘Maybe you’re too close to see clearly,’ he said, digging in his heels. ‘The disease has obviously advanced since he last saw the respiratory specialist, but there are things that could be done to alleviate his current symptoms. Chest wall radiotherapy to shrink the tumour and stop the build-up of the effusion. He can be discharged from hospital with a chest drain in situ. There’s absolutely no reason why we can’t buy him some more time to spend with his loved ones, but leaving him like this, is totally unacceptable.’

Meg nodded. ‘You’re right. No one, me included, wants him to suffer. It’s just that if he goes to the hospital and ends up staying there until the end, I’ll never forgive myself. You don’t understand because you left your roots behind,’ she said, lashing out. ‘You don’t understand what’s it’s like to live here. This place, this island is more than a home for those of us that choose to stay. It’s a place of comfort. For Harold, it’s his memories and his past and his family. He’s told me his choice and he wants to die here.’

Cam hardened his heart and tried to think professionally. ‘You’re wrong, Meg. I do understand. I understand what it’s like to lose people you love. My parents went out to dinner, skidded on ice and rolled off the road. I hate the idea that they didn’t die instantly. That there was no one there to help them until it was too late. No one to stop them suffering, to fight for them to have one more day. I couldn’t help them, but I can help Mr Stevens. I’m a doctor. Helping people is what I do.’ Maybe he shouldn’t have confided in her about his past, his fiancée, whose love was also ripped away while Cam had been distracted by grief. It was as if Meg hadn’t seen him, didn’t know him after all, or simply didn’t care. Maybe that was why she wanted to keep her emotional distance.

‘Of course,’ she whispered, gripping his arm and looking guilty. ‘I didn’t mean we should do nothing…’

But Cam’s mind cleared as he shoved his pain down where it belonged. This wasn’t about them. Clearly, despite what they’d shared this week, there was no them. ‘I think we should explain Harold’s options to him,’ he said, calmly, ‘and let him make the choice. If he refuses to go to the hospital for treatment, I can’t force him. But that’s my medical recommendation and I’m going to make sure that Harold understands the consequences of his decision. I’m sorry, Meg, but I can’t compromise on this.’

***

Later that evening, Meg parked the clinic’s four-wheel drive near the ferry terminal, her heart heavy. Cam had successfully aspirated some fluid from Harold’s chest to ease his symptoms, and the man had reluctantly agreed to go to the hospital to be reassessed. That meant Cam was leaving today, after all, to accompany Harold and Jan to the hospital on the mainland.

‘I’m sorry I can’t come too,’ Meg said as Cam pulled his bag from the boot, his expression tense and resigned. ‘Kath is off duty so I can’t leave the island.’

But perhaps he was right to withdraw emotionally. They were both clearly still dealing with their issues from the past, neither ready to be fully vulnerable.

‘I’ll escort him to A and E and let you know the outcome,’ Cam said, not quite meeting her eye.

‘I’ll um…see you in two months,’ she said, determined he wouldn’t see how hurt she was that he hadn’t mentioned seeing her again. Whatever it was they’d had this week, Cam obviously wasn’t ready to fight for it.

A flicker of disappointment passed over his stare, but Meg rushed on, worried it was in her imagination because she was feeling so confused and conflicted. ‘Perhaps we should just be friends. If we drag this out, pretend it’s something it’s not, one of us might get hurt.’

After all, there was no future in them. Relationships were about compromise, but sometimes there were just too many obstacles.

Cam pressed his lips together and glanced distractedly over at the ferry. ‘Maybe you’re right. Maybe we’re both still struggling with trust issues. Neither of us wants to make another mistake.’

Meg nodded, feeling sick. She’d secretly hoped they might have some kind of future. But Cam wasn’t ready to put his feelings on the line again. He wasn’t even ready to stop roaming, and Meg could understand why. But the next time she risked her heart, she needed to be certain that it was with someone willing to stick around, to compromise and fight to make a relationship with her work.

‘Bye, Cam,’ she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. And then she forced herself to walk away.

***

Back in Invercargill, Cam worked three busy days in a row, trying his best to put Meg from his mind. Their farewell Saturday at the ferry terminal had been depressingly polite, their week-long intense and passionate relationship fizzling out to friendship like damp firewood. It was as if neither of them had been able to muster the will to fight for a future.

Turning off his computer, Cam rubbed a hand over his face and pulled out his phone, sending Meg a text.

Hope your week is going well.

He needed to get over it. It wasn’t as if he’d never see her again. He still had another three months of his locum position left. But her suggestion that they just be friends suck in his throat like a fish bone. It made sense. He had one more stint on the island, so they had to continue to work together. But he wanted more than friendship. Despite him keeping his heart in bubble wrap since his ex broke it, Meg had found a way past his guard. It was crazy fast, but he’d started to have feelings for her. He’d started to imagine the kind of life they might have if they were in a relationship. He’d started to see a path heading towards forever.

‘You didn’t say any of that,’ he chastised himself aloud. He’d got scared and figured he was better off alone, as usual. He bailed at the first hiccup as Meg had once said. But she’d made him feel that he could stop running, shown him he was ready to put down roots once more. That with the right woman at his side, he could risk falling in love again.

Restlessly checking his silent phone, Cam stood and grabbed his coat and bag. A relationship between them would take compromise, and it might not work out, but they each deserved a chance to see where it could go if they both committed fully.

Pulling up the Stewart Island ferry timetable, Cam headed for his car. If he broke a few speed limits, he could make the last ferry to the island from nearby Bluff. He had the following day off. He could wipe away that frustrating farewell of theirs and tell Meg how he felt about her, persuade her to give them a chance and see where it might take them.

***

Meg’s little cottage by the sea, a place she’d always loved, seemed too big now without Cam. She looked around the darkened space, remembering him there, making breakfast, laughing, kissing her as if what they’d had was something special. Since he’d left the island, she’d tried her best to console herself with his friendship, but a part of her knew she’d taken the coward’s way out that day.

She’d been scared to trust in the wrong guy again, scared that she’d be the more committed of the two, scared that Cam would leave New Zealand and she’d have her heart broken again.

Unable to be alone with her thoughts a second longer, she grabbed her coat and headed for the beach across the road. A brisk walk might help. Only everywhere reminded her of Cam. The site of their picnic, the call of sea-birds, the memory of holding his hand, desperate to kiss him and not stop.

When she reached the cliffs she turned and headed back in the direction she’d come, a decision made. She would call him and tell him that she had feelings for him, admit she’d pushed him away during their last conversation and ask if he still wanted to see her again.

She looked up and saw a man running along the beach. A man that was as tall as Cam, with the same broad shoulders and dark hair. Was she hallucinating Cam now?

As the figure approached, her certainty increased. It was Cam. Meg started running too, her heart in her throat. They reached each other, both breathless.

‘Meg,’ Cam said. ‘I looked everywhere for you. Your house, the lodge. I even called the clinic.’

‘What’s wrong?’ Meg asked, ridiculously pleased to see him.

‘Nothing. I just wanted to see you again. To tell you I don’t want to be friends. I want more than that.’

Meg’s heart soared. ‘So do I. I’m so sorry that I got scared and pushed you away. I was worried that you wouldn’t want me the way I want you or worried that I expected too much. Worried that if we continued to see each other, I’d fall for you and get hurt when you leave.’

He gripped her shoulders. ‘And I’m sorry that I got too scared to fight for what we’ve found together. I do want you and I’m not going anywhere. I don’t care where we live, I just want us to try and make a relationship work. I’m not giving up on us or walking away. I’m already falling in love with you, Meg.’ He cupped her face, his stare full of emotions. ‘I think you’re my penguin.’

Meg’s eyes stung with tears. ‘I’m falling in love with you, too, Cam. I know I’m not making another mistake, because I think you’re my penguin, too.’

His smile stretched and he pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately. Meg sighed and lost herself in their kiss, certain that she and her sexy Scottish doctor could make their relationship work.

Cam pulled back and peered down at her intently. ‘Home is people not places. Being with you feels like home.’

Meg nodded and laughed through her tears. ‘I couldn’t have said it better myself. It doesn’t matter where we live, as long as it’s together.’

They kissed again in celebration that they’d found their forever person on a tiny island at the bottom of the world.

 

The End.