Still the Billionaire's First Choice - Chapter 18

Of course she’d said no. Felipe felt nothing but fury.

You don’t actually want me.

How could she possibly think that when he couldn’t keep his hands off her? It had taken one moment, just one measly moment of being back in her company and everything had opened up again. All the damned feelings he’d denied for so long. Six long, damned years in which he’d told himself he was happily single and safe with superficial affairs.

He should have kissed her. She’d been unable to do anything but say yes to him whenever he’d kissed her in these past twenty-four hours. Instead, he’d misjudged his pitch. Maligned her. But he’d been thrown by the packing boxes in her studio, and in echoing those words he’d reverted to the callow, insecure youth he’d been—believing the world when all in it had said he wasn’t good enough for her. But he’d thought she’d been in love with him then. Thought they could overcome the barriers of social standing and family resistance like some Romeo and Juliet story. When he’d suggested she leave, he’d thought she would choose him. Just him. That he would be enough. Of course she hadn’t.

But she was right—she’d been a kid. He saw now how emotionally neglected she’d been. She’d lost her mother and tried so hard to please an absent father who saw her only as some kind of meal ticket. She’d not fully trusted Felipe and given he’d asked her so angrily, given he’d turned on her when she said no, she’d been right to. But his bitter words back then had reflected how those people had made him feel—frustration and shame had smothered him and he’d cruelly used it to lash out at her. Which hadn’t been fair. She’d been a pawn, controlled and so young, but he also knew she’d also wanted to protect him. She’d done what she’d thought she had to.

You don’t need me.

Felipe had never wanted to need anyone. Not since then. He’d worked stupidly hard to gain independence. To prove he couldn’t just work, he could win. He could have everything, anything and any one he wanted. But he would never need…

You don’t love me.

Sophia had always wanted and needed to be loved. And of course, she was. Desperately, endlessly, utterly loved. But he’d not told her. Not six years ago. Not now. He’d honestly not admitted it to himself until this very second. Because he’d been a cowardly fool.

She’d been right to accuse him of treating her as a thing. He had. But he’d wanted to secure her to his side. He’d wanted to be certain she would stay. Because she’d said no once when he’d known she had some kind of feelings for him, and now he knew nothing of the sort. And now he was terrified. He’d allowed old insecurity to paralyse him in the exact moment he’d needed true courage.

She’d always been beautiful. Always been kind. She was strong now, too. And she was right—she deserved someone who saw her. Who cared about her. Who wanted, needed and loved her.

He picked up the biscuit tin he’d never been able to toss away. The treasures within hadn’t seen the light in a long time. He’d take it to her and tell her everything he should have said so long ago.

***

Sophia didn’t know why she’d done it to herself. Why she’d boarded the bus and gone to the place where it had all begun. But if she were drawing a line under Felipe for good—then she needed to see it and say goodbye.

Four hours on the slow road was plenty of time for her to overthink everything. Surely, she would get over him properly now she’d seen him again and learned he’d become as superficial and as heartless as her family, right? Except she didn’t think he was—not at all.

Late in the day she peered through the gates—unable to see much of the building inside. The villa had originally belonged to her mother’s family but her father had sold it not long after Ares married Bethan as a way of recovering some of the cost of Sophia’s education, apparently. But Sophia hadn’t been back for years before then and no more happy memories would ever be made here.

This trip had been stupid. She’d leave first thing.