One Last Fling - Chapter 6
Cam
Cam woke up already losing.
Not because of the kiss, although that didn’t help. It was because Lily Atkinson had drawn a line, and she meant it. He could tell. The problem was, wanting her was part of his personality now.
He saw her first in the paddock heading to the garage, headphones on, all sharp edges and focus. No glance in his direction. No acknowledgment of the fact that less than twelve hours ago, she’d kissed him like it mattered. Good, he told himself. It was helpful to decide that the status quo was acceptable.
He stepped into the garage and worked on some race prep with his engineer. Eventually, one of the mechanics turned the Academy race on. He couldn’t not look. Lily was kicking ass. Driving her race like someone with nothing to lose. She was brilliant. Aggressive where it counted. Calm everywhere else. She missed winning by a mere second, but more important, her biggest rival had crashed. It was a serious gain in the points for Lily. She was second in the Academy championship now. Pride and dread twisted in his chest in equal measure.
She was going to win this thing. And the only thing he could do was deal with his own race.
Which didn’t go badly, but also didn’t go great. He finished exactly where he started. Funny how much that mirrored his life.
Later, he spotted Lily in the paddock. “Lily,” he called. “I wanted to congratulate you. Amazing race.”
“I didn’t win.”
“No, but you closed the points gap. It’s practically nothing now.”
“Thanks. I’m still behind though.” She turned and he reached for her arm.
“One more thing,” he said. “I’m sorry about last night.”
That got her attention. “No. I should apologize. I kissed you.”
“I readily participated,” he replied. “That’s on me too. You’ve told me many times that you can’t do this. And I know how hard it is to think straight when you have all of this going on around you.”
Silence stretched between them, thick and uncomfortable.
“Don’t be so nice to me. I’m not always very nice to you.”
“Sorry. This is just me. I wanted you to know that I get it. You’re chasing your dream. And the thing we’re both chasing is getting in the way.”
She paused. “It’s not fair to you.”
He almost laughed. Almost told her fairness had very little to do with any of this. Instead, he said, “I’ll manage.”
“Okay. Good.” She walked away without another word. His heart ached. The next overlap between F1 and the Academy was in Austin, Texas. That race was weeks away.
He grabbed a shower in his room, then packed up his things and headed for the private plane he was sharing with a few of the other drivers. When he boarded, they were in the middle of a card game. “You can deal me in next hand.”
He took a seat, feeling like too much had gone unsaid in that conversation with Lily. His phone sat heavy in his hand as he considered sending a text. He didn’t want to be that guy, but he needed her to know how he felt.
I want what you want. And I don’t mean that because we’re competing for the same seat… I only need you to know that no matter what, I will always care.
He set the phone down on his leg and waited. Nothing came.
“Cam! You want in?” one of the other drivers asked.
“I’m good. I’m going to get some sleep.”
He needed the escape. Because he wasn’t sure which would be worse—if she replied, or if she didn’t.