Nurse to Heal the High Seas Doc - Chapter 18
Nicole looked at the walkie-talkie. Part of her wanted Shane to reach out to her through it. Or come to her room, seek her out somehow. Another part of her wanted to never see him again.
That last part was growing smaller every hour.
But she wasn’t going to give in. She’d fallen for one man who turned out to be completely different than the person he claimed to be. Shane’s reaction to her “rash” choices had given her the horrid feeling that she’d misread things one more time.
“Dr. Sapson.” Mallory walked up holding her wrist, a frown coating her face.
“Is the arm hurting? That's common in a fracture. I can order some pain meds.” That meant talking to Shane on the walkie-talkie or going to the clinic and seeing him person.
Mallory shook her head. “Not pain…itching.” She glared at the cast, then looked at Nicole. “I want to claw the cast off, to scratch my arm. Guess it serves me right.”
“Itching is perfectly normal. Put your hair dryer on a cool setting and blow the air down the cast. Don’t put anything in it, you could cut yourself and get an infection.”
Mallory nodded. “Air in the cast. Got it.”
The scientist started to walk away but Nicole stepped in her path. “What did you mean serves me right?” Research vessels were difficult places to live. Mental health struggles happened and, if Mallory was struggling with something, Nicole needed to know.
The young scientist looked around her, clearly weighing what she wanted to say. “It’s nothing.”
“I think it’s something.”
Mallory took a deep breath. “I am four-hundred and sixteen days sober.” She pressed her eyes closed then met Nicole’s gaze. “Maybe one day I will start measuring in months.”
“It's an impressive accomplishment.”
“I tripped a lot as a drunk. Got bruised, hurt friends and family. But I never broke anything.” She held up the cast. “Guess this is kinda karma finally catching up.”
“No.” Nicole shook her head. “No. Your past is the past. There are no debts to pay.”
Mallory patted Nicole on the shoulder. “I’ve worked the steps, Dr. Sapson. Trust me, there are debts to pay. Wrongs I need to make right, but that is my path to walk.”
“Debts you owe to those you wronged are different.” Nicole wasn’t sure why she was pushing this. She could just let it go. But her chest was tight, words aching to get out. “There are no karma points for falling down. You aren’t owed pain because of a mess up.”
Mallory looked at her broken arm, clearly still at odds with the statement “Thanks for the tip on hair dryer.”
Nicole stood in the hallway long after Mallory had vanished. There are no karma points.
It was so easy to say it someone else and even feel frustrated when they didn’t get it. But for herself…
I'm waiting on karma too.
She’d run from her home. Racing away to make sure acquaintances never suspected the truth about her feelings about Caleb's death. Feelings that were valid but still brought her shame. Part of her had felt she deserved what had happened to her, because she’d impulsively jumped into marriage.
She’d never known love at home. Her parents were absent on their best days and cruel on their worst. The first kiss of affection had overwhelmed her. She’d craved the illusion Caleb was offering. But it wasn’t her fault he’d lied. It wasn’t her fault she’d gotten tricked.
It wasn’t just karma she feared. It was falling into the same ruse. So at the first pathetic excuse, she’d walked away. Practically run from the clinic without hearing what Shane had clearly wanted to say.
And Shane was struggling with the same issue. The misguided belief that he needed to pay back debts that weren’t his own. Yes, the financial ones had to be accounted for, but he was trying to pay for his parents' recklessness too. Keeping himself fully in check. Not letting himself live.
She’d taken a book from that page. Rather than hash it out, have the argument and find a resolution, she’d panicked. Run from the consequences…and possibly the best thing life had to offer.
“Nicole.”
Shane’s voice echoed through the walkie-talkie.
She pushed the button on the side. “I’m on my way to the clinic.” There were things they needed to discuss. Openly. Without fear.