Apple-y Ever After - Chapter 15

Having sex in a corn maze was a little like the time a Hollywood celebrity seeking their Tony took Milo’s office out to a twenty-course meal at a three-Michelin-starred restaurant: not something he ever thought he’d do, but man, would he treasure the experience.

He also wasn’t sure either experience was a wise move, but both felt too good at the time to worry about it. As they continued through the maze, Milo occasionally stopped to pick a piece of hay out of Saskia’s hair, and even she would blush.

She led the way, and they encountered dead end after dead end. One was a group of skeletons playing cards, with a sign that said Dead end! Deal with it! Another had a skeleton dog holding a human’s missing femur in its jaws. Dead end! Not pulling your leg! Milo was not in a hurry to finish the maze either, and the little tableaux were good for a corny joke.

After more than an hour, however, it started feeling like they’d seen the whole maze except for the end somehow.

“Are we going in circles?” Milo asked.

“We might be. You should probably lead.”

Milo took the lead, holding Saskia by the hand as they wound through the curvy passages and other long, straight ones. Eventually, they found themselves back at the first dead end they’d encountered.

“Round two?” Saskia asked slyly.

Milo’s brow wrinkled in frustration. “How did we get back here and not see either the end or the entrance?” he asked, ignoring her flirty question.

“We’ll get there eventually,” Saskia said.

After what must have been another hour, they ended right back up in the first room. Whatever glow it had from their earlier activities had dimmed.

“Well, shit,” Saskia said.

As they were backing out of that dead end, a couple of kids came barreling past them from another corridor. One was holding what was clearly a map of the maze.

“Wait, there’s a map?” Milo asked.

Saskia winced. “I thought this maze would be child’s play to you. I threw it away.”

Milo pinched the bridge of his nose. Who threw away a map?

“I’m sorry,” she added meekly.

“It’s okay,” he said. This was a corn maze, not a thesis defense. There was no reason they couldn’t find their way out. Then came another lap through the maze, back to their original dead end.

Defeated, Milo sat on one of the bales of hay. A couple of hours ago, Saskia was on this very bale on all fours. He had rucked up her skirt and sunk into her. He’d hear her quiet string of ecstatic yeses, matching him thrust for thrust, in his dreams forevermore. Now, what had been exhilarating was fast becoming a nightmare. It was as if he’d gotten food poisoning from that twenty-course dinner.

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket in resignation and searched for May’s phone number.

“Hello,” he said when someone answered. “We’re stuck in the corn maze and I’m afraid we’re going to need some help getting out.”