Zion introduced John to family, friends and neighbors. As awkward as it should have been, Zion found himself at great ease with John by his side. When a cousin came up to talk to him, John went to the cooler to get them something to drink. Zion’s phone rang, interrupting before his cousin could talk his ear off.
“Hey, kiddo.”
Zion took a deep breath at the sound of his brother’s voice. He was happy to hear from him, of course. But that kiddo moniker was really starting to rub him the wrong way.
“Israel, you really need to stop with that kiddo nonsense. I’m grown.”
“So you say,” Israel countered. “Until you can prove it to me, I’m still gonna check up on you and make sure you’re not in any trouble and call you kiddo.”
His good mood began to take a decidedly dark turn. He excused himself from his cousin, walking down the side of the house and out to the sidewalk where he could find a bit of privacy.
“Israel, I really don’t want to fight with you. But I’m honestly gonna need you to stop. It’s been eighteen years. I don’t need a keeper anymore.”
His brother sighed deeply and Zion couldn’t tell if it was out of frustration, or if Israel would finally relent.
“I know I can go overboard, Zion. But I’m just trying to keep you safe. I ignored the signs with dad—I promised I wouldn’t ignore them with you. I can’t lose you, baby brother.”
Zion’s heart squeezed so tightly in his chest he had to rub the heel of his palm over his pec to try to soothe the ache.
“I know I fucked up, Israel. But it was a onetime thing. I promise you, it’s never happened again, and it never will. Please, haven’t I earned just a little bit of your trust over the years?”
The line was silent for a moment, but then Israel’s deep breath came through, and Zion knew that his brother had heard him, really heard him, maybe for the first time in eighteen years.
“You have, Zion. It’s just…old habits are hard to break.”
They ended the call, and when Zion turned around John was standing there, holding two red Solo cups in his hands. John held one up and offered it to him.
“I brought you something to drink.” Zion was too emotional to speak, so he simply nodded and took the offered cup. “Zion, what’s going on?”
Zion prepared himself to make light of John’s concern, but suddenly, for the first time in forever, he wanted to share what had been eating at his soul for so long.
He walked John across the street to where John’s car was parked and leaned against it, needing a bit of strength before he began.
“Israel was the one who found our dad when he died. Knowing how he died has never sat well with him.”
“He died of a heart attack. Aside from the obvious, why would that haunt Israel?”
“Because my dad didn’t die of a heart attack, John. He died by suicide.”
John’s mouth dropped and Zion realized just how well his brother had covered the story up.
“At the time, the company was in trouble and my dad was at risk of losing it all. The idea of seeing all he’d worked for go down the drain, it killed something inside of him and he swallowed a bottle of pills. Israel found dad and his suicide note. He hid it and used the influence of some of our dad’s powerful friends to get the doctor to claim it was a heart attack on the death certificate.”
“Damn, Zion. Why didn’t you ever tell me that?”
“Because I didn’t want that to define my life or how people treated me. So, outside of my brother and my mother, you’re the only one who knows.”
John raised a hand, cupping the back of Zion’s neck, rubbing slow circles there as he looked up at Zion. “That must’ve been terrible for you and your family. Losing someone that way can definitely make you go overboard in the protection department.”
Zion nodded as he took a deep breath. “True, but that’s not why Israel is the way he is. I am.”
He could see the confusion in John’s eyes, so before the man could form the question on his lips, Zion continued. “I was really broken up after Simon’s death. I didn’t know how to handle it, so I started doing all sorts of reckless shit, including going on a bender that led to alcohol poisoning. The doctors told Israel there was no way I had accidentally consumed that much alcohol, and it had to be intentional. Israel was afraid that meant I was trying to kill myself too. So he became my watchdog. And the only way I could get away from him was by going to school on the West Coast. But whenever I come back home, Israel is triggered all over again, and he goes into this big brother tailspin where he feels like he has to watch my every move. Hence, making his employee babysit his grown ass brother.”
Zion dropped his gaze. He was so ashamed he couldn’t bring himself to look John in the eye. “And now you finally know just how pitiful I am.”
John placed a finger under Zion’s chin and lifted until their gazes met.
“Grief does terrible things to people, Zion. All you have to do is just look at me to know that’s true. I focused on nothing but work to fulfill the dreams of my dead father, no matter what it cost me. But even though we both lost our dads, we’re still here. I think it’s high time we stop dwelling on what we’ve lost and think more about what we’ve found.”
“What’s that?”
John offered him a shaky smile that pushed away some of the dark clouds covering his soul. “Each other.”
***
“Are you enjoying yourself?”
John shivered as Zion’s breath tickled the shell of his ear. Determined not to choke on the food in his mouth, he simply continued chewing until he swallowed and knew his airway was safe.
“I am certainly enjoying this potato salad. I’ve never really cared for it myself, but your mother’s is incredible.”
“That’s because the only potato salad you’ve had is out of a carton in the deli section of the supermarket.” Zion smirked, sitting down next to him with a plate of his own. “That ain’t potato salad. That’s just boiled potatoes and mayonnaise mixed together.”
John chuckled because Zion’s explanation of the situation was 100 percent accurate. They continued to eat and chat with an ease that rivaled their college days, making him ache for all the time they’d lost. They could have had fourteen years of sitting in backyard cookouts laughing, eating and enjoying each other.
That ache made him question himself. When Zion had suggested they break up and not try to continue their relationship long distance, he was shocked. Shocked to hear those words coming out of his boyfriend’s mouth, shocked to contemplate a man that he’d spent nearly every day with for a year could let him go so easily. He was so shocked and hurt that he’d simply nodded his head and gone along with it instead of fighting for his heart.
Back then, it had made sense. They were both young, trying to establish the next level of their respective futures. But sitting here now, watching the sheer joy on Zion’s face as he tucked into his food while simultaneously swaying to the beat of the music blasting from the large speakers positioned in the four corners of the yard, John knew that failing to speak up in that moment had been the wrong move.
Now, he was working for Zion’s brother, and any relationship with Zion could very well lose him the promotion he’d worked himself to the bone for. But as he watched Zion, comfortable in his element, John couldn’t seem to muster up enough concern about his job.
Zion had opened up to him by telling him about his father. And after learning the man’s deepest, darkest secret, John knew he wanted more.
“Hey, you,” Zion called as he bumped his shoulder against John’s. “What’cha over there thinking so hard about?”
John opened his mouth to answer when the first notes of the iconic song “Before I Let Go” by Frankie Beverly and Maze rang through the air, and any chance he had of speaking was lost as Zion grabbed him by the hand and walked him to the makeshift dance floor on the side of the yard.
The feeling of his skin pressed against Zion’s, even if it was just their hands, made his body prickle with excitement. Jon barely noticed anything going on around them.
“I haven’t spent a whole lot of time dancing these last fourteen years. You might regret grabbing me as your partner.”
Zion placed his arms around John’s waist, pulling him so close he could smell the sweet and tangy scent of the barbecue Zion had eaten.
Zion’s soulful brown eyes stared so deeply into his they felt connected, attached, as if no time had passed at all between them.
Their bodies glided together in step as if they did this every weekend and John couldn’t quite figure out how that could be, how he could feel so in sync with a man he hadn’t laid eyes on in fourteen years.
Zion looked up into his eyes, singing along with Frankie, and somehow, John understood that Zion wasn’t just singing along to an oldie but goodie—he was trying to tell John how he felt.
Zion turned him around, wrapping him in his embrace so they danced front to back and John could feel the firmness of Zion’s half-hard cock pressed against him.
“I was a fool,” Zion whispered in his ear so John could hear him over the music. “I shouldn’t have let you go and I’ve regretted that mistake for fourteen years. Finding you at my brother’s company can’t be a coincidence. The universe is creating another opportunity for us and I want to take it. I want to be with you. I want to figure out who and what we can be together now, as grown men.”
“Zion,” John tried to respond, but when he opened his mouth to speak, Zion leaned down and a pressed the softest, sweetest kiss on the tender spot where his shoulder met his neck. As if that wasn’t enough to short-circuit his brain, Zion ran his teeth gently over the sensitive flesh there and John nearly melted into a puddle right there on the dance floor.
“I see that’s still your spot.”
It was, and his trembling body was proof Zion still knew how to play John’s body any way he wanted.
“Let me take you home, John. Make you remember how good we can be.”
John turned around, determined to let the logical side of his brain take over and put a stop to this—whatever this was—before it could even happen. But when he turned in Zion’s arms and the man pressed his full lips against his mouth, logic exited, and the only thing his brain recognized was the thick fog created by his burning desire to let this man have his way with him.And when he could finally see through the lust-filled haze in his mind and Zion’s gaze locked onto his, there was only one answer John could articulate.
“Yes.”
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